mereka merdeka
Today I walk pass by Merdeka Stadium by myself. I wasn’t sure why I do that in the first place -- probably it was just my random act of tingtong-ness which happen to me often through out my life.
Lucky it wasn’t the Tugu Negara -- coz it might be for something else -- :p
I parked my car somewhere nearby and stroll down sort of my memory lane without any solid direction where I’m heading too. From my childhood life helping my mum menoreh getah -- to my burger seller stint back in Uni -- to the managerial work I’m doing now.
Somehow, I’ve been feeling down lately for no reason at all.
To put the blame on the stress at work is so wrong -- coz that kind of stress is what I love the most. Yeah, I do nag non-stop on my Facebook -- but that sort of thing is norm to most of us -- FBs is the wailing wall of this era.
Then, I start to doubt my relationship with friends -- I do realise tho -- I’ve being fighting with a lot of people this past one year for a silly reason -- and some people do hate me to his guts bcoz of my behavior. Somehow I was just being myself most of the time. Sometimes our ego is just so big that we can’t see our true self behind those ego.
For more than 10 years in KL, friends in this big city always come and go -- so it wasn’t the reason.
A year ago, I was doing the same thing -- I do remember I was so tingtong I walked from Bukit Bintang to Cheras after work to clear my mind. I was having tough time at my old work place and I need a push in making a right decision for my career.
I’m glad after almost 2 hours walking along Jalan Davis -- Jalan Cochrane towards Jalan Loke Yew -- I start seeing people -- regular people who probably in the less fortunate situation than me -- who work day in and day out -- with very much less income and still going through their daily life at that hour.
Suddenly, I got an SMS from my housemate on my iPhone -- then it struck me -- I was holding an iPhone for god sake! That iPhone can be sold for a value at least a month of their income.
After that, I change my perception towards myself and I start seeing thing clearly. I change my job, my attitude -- sold my house at last and settled my bad debt.
Today, I do the same thing again -- it was the right move .
I shouldn’t complaint with what I’ve now -- I’ve career which allow me to travel -- eating at posh restaurant or mamak stalls at anytime I want -- shopping at fancy boutique or hypermarket from one shopping mall to another -- owning a things without seeing a price tag sometimes -- have friends who always be around no matter what happen -- good or bad.
What more do you want?
Somehow, I did saw something at Merdeka Stadium today.
*a man with handcuff inside the black maria.
In the beginning, I had it all but I let it slip away. I couldn’t see that I treated you wrong. Now I wander around feeling down and cold. I was trying to believe that you’re gone.
