wahaza extra

Have you ever feel so hopeless and everything else around your start to feel blank and none of any kind of magnetic power are pushing you to do something?

When you do this, you think of that and when you do that, and you feel this one not perfect yet.

It’s like I’m having post-trauma of the end of LOST – but I’m not.

It has been 6 month, I didn’t write anything here. One or two posts of no meaning, can that be count as a post? Perhaps not!

Since I move to a new job – I was so focus of the career that I never bother to think about myself. Maybe, I was so frustrated with what’s happening last year.

It was one hell of ride, I had an accident which my car turn turtle – check! Had a minor operation – check! Had a fight with so many friends – check! Not able to feel comfortable to stay on my own house – check!

Bad energy everywhere…

Ever since, J gone, 5 years ago – the house was never feel homey anymore – is like its missing something. At the end I decided to sell it, Alhamdullillah – it sold – with a good price!

Then things get better slowly, I do hope soon it’ll bring much more serenity in myself.

I remember at one time, I was so into myself – I was trying to proves myself that I can live without J around no matter how – and I never bother to look for companion anymore. Then when you’re single for so many years – whatever people said to you about companionship – it just go through from your right ears to left.

Am I ever ready to have one now?

Not sure myself – the feeling is like gulf war in my soul. The Bush and the Saddam of my heart trying their best to influence the feeling inside.

Suddenly everything change – I met someone – someone who grows on me and I dearly care. Not expecting much but hoping a lot – hoping I wouldn’t feel hopeless anymore.

Am I ready to be the one of someone?

M, I don’t know where are you… I don’t want to know where are you… so I trust where ever you’re… you know where I am!